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As the title suggests, it’s about two guys trying to figure out a way to creat a whole set of explanations for a cliente who had demanded some sort of scripture that would convince their costumers to buy their products – or, in this case, their rules.
C = Creative, as in the employee responsible for new ideas.
C1
How about we use some old mythology as a reference?
C2
Look, just because you’re the geek on the subject, it doesn’t mean it will stick!
C1
I get it, but it has worked well before.
C2
But the same formula that was used thousands of years ago may not have the same effect now.
C1
What if we altered it a little?
C2
Like using a human-built palaces instead of the Mount Olympus?
C1
Or even different gods!
C2
Not so many gods!
C1
Well, that’s clear to me. We can’t expect the final consumer to concentrate in some many different characters. Not in the starting point, at least.
C2
How about one god?
C1
One single god?!
C2
Exactly!
C1
And what’s his purpose? I mean, will he himself be responsible for music, seduction and, well, everything?!
C2
That’s good… Every-thing.
C1
Everything!
C2
All…
C1
Alright, we’re close to a god already. And will he generate the human being from his own leg!
C2
But where did the human originally came from? Dionysius was conceabed in a woman, Zeus simply carried and gave birth to him in his thigh.
C1
You’re right… Then there is this one god and he just makes man.
C2
Out of nothing?
C1
Yeah! Out of nothing.
C2
Shouldn’t this god be humanlike too?
C1
How so?
C2
Well, so that he will want to give creation to another being like him. We made this whole ultrapowered fancy god, then he creates someone who resembles him.
C1
How do you mean?
C2
Well, like he made it for self entertainment or so.
C1
Shouldn’t he also make other human beings, not just one?
C2
No! No! We just need to use this god as a starting point. Then, he will make the first man and the man will take care of the rest!
C1
All by himself? How about reproduction? Will he use his own thigh? Can he make clonic variables, like this one-single-god?
C2
I hadn’t thought of that actually…
C1
Alright, so how ’bout the god comes up again? Just to creat a female human. That would allow them to have children!
C2
Cool, I like that! We can use the one-god as backcome resource from once in a while.
C1
But there’s just one thing…
C2
What is it?
C1
The whole human race starts with just one couple?
C2
But of course! It’s actually perfectly natural, believe me.
C1
Yeah, but, these days, wouldn’t it seem… well… completely weird? Even absurd?
C2
If the client goes for it, the consumer goes for it.
C1
Well, it makes sense. The most absurd the story is…
C2
… the most hard it becomes to refute it!
If this recent amish romance novels trend really catches on, I might as well just go along with it. Now all I need is a plotline on the subject.
Little amish boy witnesses a murder and a big city cop must acompaign him back to his simple life community in order to protect THE WITNESS!
-The Witness…
-What?
-That’s the name of the film. It already exists. With Harrison Ford.
-Oh, yes, I see…
Strange murders lead two paranormal activity investigators into an amish community whose members don’t seem quite happy with their presence there…
-The X-Files…
-I figured…
So, how about this: an adult film producer (Rocco, he’s simply the best!) discovers the perfect girl (Stoya) to act with his great star (Sasha Grey) in his next movie. Problem is… she’s amish! To get the approval from the girl’s family, they will have to use their sensuality amongst members of the community. Little do they know that the sweet innocent Stoya is already having an affair with another member of the Amish, an african-american male (which could be played by me – I don’t think my skin color should be an issue – Lexington Steele). Film title: Raising the Barn!
Formula for a great movie: (2x = Y), whereas “X” represents the number of girls to be appearing on the film and, Y, the number of cups.
Here’s my attempt on a remake of Chris Crocker’s Leave Britney Alone video. The parody is based on Michael Phelps’ marijuana incident.
How fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Britney after all she has been through!
How fucking dare anyone out there harasss Michael after all he’s been through?!
He lost his sponsors, he went through a divorce. He has two fucking sisters!
He turned out to be a user, a pothead, and now he had to apologize. All you people care about is… readers and making money off of him.
HE’S A GOD!!! (ah! ooh!) What you don’t realize is that Phelps is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him.
He has been performing in championships for years. He won 14 olympic gold medals for a reason, because all you people want is MORE! MOREMORE, MOREMORE!
LEAVE HIM ALONE! You are lucky he’s even swam for you BASTARDS!
LEAVE MICHAEL PHELPS ALONE… please.
The Federation accused him of having disappointed his fans, that he had violated the rules and should be suspended.
Speaking of disappointing fans, what’s worse then prohibiting their hero from doing what he does so great for everyone to see?!
Leave Michael Alone, Please
Leave Michael Phelps Alone! right now! I mean it!
Anyone that has a problem with him, deal with me because he’s got the munchies right now.
LEAVE HIM ALONE!
Not funny, so I wouldn’t bother filming it. Plus, dying my hair blond wouldn’t be good to my career.
3 helium balloons (each one should have the following measures: diameter = 1,8 meter; volume = 3,2 cubic meters)
1 cat (10-11 pounds \ 4,5 to 5 kilos)
1 shotgun
3 shotgun shells (you might wanna upper that amount depending on your aiming abilities)
9 strong strings
3 small ropes
tie the ropes around the cat’s torso.
tie 3 strings to each rope.
connect the strings to the helium filled ballon (3 for each balloon, obviously)
The cat should fly gently with that amount of balloons.
Wait until the cat is at at least 40 meters from the ground.
Shoot the balloons and try to miss the cat.
Please, don’t shoot the poor little fellow.
Once most the balloons are shot, the cat should start losing altitude. Shoot ‘em all before the lovely feline is below 30 meters from the ground.
Now check if the cat has survived.
If so, repeat the experiment again waiting for a little longer (45 meters before start shooting)
Thanks for your time,
hope your cat is okay.
J.P. “McCoy”
The following content is a script for an original sketch by ThoraZine Visual Productions. It was written and developed by J.P. Flores McCoy, Outabase Nakatsui, George Secrieru, Vanderlay DeVanini, Raphael Tosh, Eddie Winck (Winck Nudge Nudge Know What I Mean?!) and other associated personel from the Russian School of Writting in Brazil.
“The Many Meanings and Translation of Dã“
“dã” is a sort of phonetic expression used in brazil that signifies complete despite for what the person you are talking to – or the person you are referring to – just said. If someone says something stupid and you correct them, you can use the word “dã” right after you have proven your point to be right and his or hers to be completely foolish and ridiculous and not worthy having ever been said. For instance, let’s imagine you say something incredibly stupid and I correct you by saying “a whale is not a mammal, you mindless piece of human waste, it is a fish!”, then at the end of that last sentence I can use the fore-mentioned expression: “(…) not a mammal, it’s a fish, dã!”. I have recently noticed that sometimes I say that word in a more-like brittish accent, and that led me to notice that the word can be actually, uh, “translated”, let’s put it that way, into many other accents. Let’s start from the beginning (dã! see? you can use to correct yourself after beeing redundant or just saying something you only noticed to be stupid after hearing yourself):
brazilian portuguese: dã
brittish: daaah
irish/scottish: deeei
canadian: diiih
french: dã.
german: dach!
If you want to know how to pronounce that wonderful word in your own country common accent, please send an email with your voice recordings of a couple of sentences in your language to coioteflores@gmail.com, followed by a mail-letter containing US$10.99 to my P.O. Box (sorry, I really only take cash. Legal problems leading to citizenship and governmental problems leading to banking problems, well, you know the drill) and I will be delighted to record the correct pronunciation of that specific word just-for-you. Or maybe I’ll just do it for free.
